Skip to Main Content 
Affective Language: Constructive Feedback ("Next time, try...")
- Using a calm, neutral tone
- Asking the student to sit next to you
- Starting by stating how it impacted you (I was scared… That made me feel frustrated…)
- Asking “What happened?” to hear their perspective and get them to reflect
- Making eye contact or other forms of active listening to make the student feel heard
- Adding a commitment (I would love to hear how the rest of your day went…
- Asking “How can you make this better?” or “What can you do to make it right?”
Affective Language Strategies
- Starting your feelings about the situation
- I was really scared for you when I saw you arguing on top of the slide.
- It makes me feel sad when you push books off of someone’s desk.
- Ask a question to hear perspective
- Ask a question facilitate reflection
- What were you thinking of at the time?
- What have you thought about since?
- What did you think when you realized what had happened?
- If others are involved, ask a question to facilitate reflection on impact on people
- What impact has this incident had on you and others?
- What has been affected by what happened?
- In what ways have they been affected?
- What has been the hardest thing for you?
- Ask a question to facilitate reflection on how to make things better
- What do you think you need to do to make things right?
- What do you think needs to happen to make things right?
- If applicable, ask a question or provide a statement that creates opportunity for follow up
- What is one thing each of you will do differently to make sure this doesn’t happen again? Which one of you can come by my classroom at the end of school today to tell me how it went?
- I want you both to let me know how the rest of the day went.
