| Do Not Engage |
Avoid a public back and forth with a student. Repeat the direction and figure out how to have a private conversation. |
| Give Space |
Once you have named what the student should do next, give them space to do it. Sometimes they will comply but need a minute to save some face with peers. |
| Provide Choice |
If there is more than one way to move forward, give options. This can help the student feel in control. |
| Offer Help |
Give suggestions for how the student can remove themselves from the moment or calm down. You can also ask them what they need. |
| Listen and Validate |
Allow students space to explain what they are feeling/experiencing. We can validate feelings without validating the perceived defiance. Sharing back what you heard can help students feel understood. |
| Explain Why |
Hearing the “why” behind an ask can help students with perspective taking and invest them in the outcome. |
